Her Break Up Reasons: Is She Simply Testing You?
by George Karanastasis, M.D.

There are many reasons a girl breaks up with a guy. And in the majority of cases her intentions are quite clear: she just wants “out” because this whole ordeal is not living up to her expectations. However, no matter how cut and dry a woman’s motives may appear there is one specific reason to be singled out before calling it quits: is she putting you through “the test”? And if she is… how can you make sure that you pass?

Well first we need to define what exactly is this “test” that I’m referring to. In the simplest of descriptions it’s a woman’s way of telling a guy that it’s either time for him to step things up or time for him to get lost… an indirect “all or nothing” proposition if you will. What does this mean? To be blunt: she wants a solid commitment (engagement/marriage).

So how can you be sure that her break up reasons are simply part of a test? Actually, it’s not that difficult. All you need to do is take 3 things into consideration:

  1. The length of the relationship
  2. Her age
  3. The marital status of her closest friends and immediate family members (e.g. sisters)

For example, if you’ve been together for several years (2-5 or more) and you’re in your mid-20’s to mid-30’s then it’s very possible that the reason she broke up with you is simply to “shock” you into commitment.

Another thing to consider: is she in her early thirties? Because many single women naturally panic at this point in their lives because their biological clocks are ticking. They want to get married and have babies.

And finally, if the majority of her girlfriends are either married or engaged to be married but she’s still single… it should be painfully obvious to you that she wants to “jump on the bandwagon”.

So let’s say your relationship circumstances fit the above criteria (more or less) and you’ve concluded that her break up reasons were nothing more than a test. How to proceed with getting her back?

Simple… give her wants she wants but give it to her tactfully. The first thing you should do is confront her. Tell her that you realize why she broke up with you and that you’re ready to settle down – but set a strict date. Don’t leave things up in the air or you’ll soon give her yet another reason to break up.

If she accepts… great… mission accomplished. However, if she refuses your proposal don’t go giving up hope just yet. Understand that it will take some time to both get her to trust in your seriousness to commit and to overcome her shattered sense of pride (after all you’ve rejected her in one way or another). But with a healthy dose of patience and steady steps in the right direction you will eventually be able to wear down her resistance and turn her break up reasons into nothing more than faint memory of the past.


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