Surviving A Breakup... A
Simple Strategy That Always Works
by George Karanastasis, M.D.
a universal fact that surviving a breakup is no simple
task. And this goes double if you're on the receiving
end of it. The pain and shattered self esteem that go
hand in hand with this unfortunate event can be so
intense as to send even the toughest guys spinning into
if you take a second to think about it, the reaction is
logical: one day she's here, she's yours… the next she's
gone. It's a major loss that leaves you with a void that
only she can fill.
why do we go as far as calling it "surviving a breakup"?
Has anyone ever died from it? Probably not… but there's
still a good reason for bringing such a dramatic word
into the equation. Because while it's not an issue of
survival in a literal sense and you're not fighting for
you life… what you are fighting for is your
Because losing a girlfriend to a breakup is similar to
losing a family member to death as far as feelings are
concerned. But here's one important difference between
the two: in the latter situation your family member
doesn't choose to leave you – it just happens. But in
the former, your loss is directly attributable to choice
that's why your sanity is put to the test. Because it's
the ultimate form of rejection. And whenever someone
gets rejected they want that somebody that much more and
will drive themselves crazy while entertaining the
possibility of getting them back. It's like a junkie
looking for their late night fix and going out of their
minds because they can't find it.
how do you deal with this? How do you go about getting
over a breakup while saving your sanity? It's actually
not as difficult as you'd imagine.
while there's a lot of advice floating around as to how
one should proceed in this case, there's only one
correct approach as far as I'm concerned: to keep a
realistic viewpoint on the situation.
does this mean?
Simple… You take the relationship for what it truly is
(or was for that matter) and you think about it along
those lines. Here's an exercise I've used in the past to
help me through this and I'm inviting you to follow
along right now:
Take out a blank sheet of paper and draw a line down
Write down the words "Positives" and "Negatives" at
the top of each column
Now list as many positives and negatives about your
relationship with this girl
remember to be honest with yourself here. Take the time
to reflect on every aspect of your relationship.
Remember that nobody's perfect: I'm not, you're not, and
neither is she. That's why it's impossible to have had a
perfect relationship and there's certain to be plenty of
negatives to go with the positives in your list.
why is this simple exercise so important?
Because what you're ultimately trying to accomplish here
is balance the positives with the negatives and bring
them to the forefront of your thoughts. It is only when
all the facts are staring you in the face that you'll be
able to look at your situation from a logical point of
view rather than one of desperation.
the next time the thought crosses your mind (and it
will) that this is the only girl for you and there's no
other in this world that can match her perfection… refer
back to that list you just wrote.
Because whatever your agenda may be (to get over her, to
get her back, etc.) this is the first step to achieving
your goal, as simple as it may seem. This will force you
to think logically and accordingly and that will take
you a long way towards surviving a breakup and figuring
out your next move.
help getting back your ex? Click here
for more information on how to get her back.
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